I was waaaay too embarassed to lug BD with me to ze job today...

[lebateleur]

...plus, it's heavy.

So I find myself reading it still. Today, it tried to kill me. Like Dubya.

I got to a certain passage. At 250-odd pages in, it doesn't really matter *which* part. But it was so gasp-inducingly bad that I ... gasped.

And in the process inhaled the craisin I had been preparing to eat at the time. Literally. The thing was still on my fingers, but the force of my OMGBWUH!?? literally vacuumed it into my mouth.

And it lodged in the back of my throat like a dart in corkboard. I've just spent the past forty-seven minutes coughing and sneezing uncontrollably, trying to hack it back out.

I coughed up blood before I managed to un-embed it from my throat.



















That's how awesomely bad this book is. Really, truly, awesomely bad.

これで以上です。

Comments

[metal-dog5.livejournal.com]

Oh, ow. Poor you. This book is pure and unadulterated evil.




And now you've got me curious what was that bad in the book.

[lebateleur.livejournal.com]

Really, it's all "that bad." But most of the badness you can see coming from a mile away. This, took me by surprise.

So basically, we all know how Bella, our author insert main character puddle of Mary Sewage is so totally self-effacing and modest and plain and unremarkable and OMG WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER LOVE ME!?!?!right? And we all know that really she is the most awesomest thing since the invention of awesome, and oh, if only she could just realise her own awesomeness, right?

And so awesome that she could do things that No Other In The History Of Vampires could, like survive sex with a vampire (when it should kill her) and get pregnant with his offspring (when it should kill her) and give birth to his offspring (when it should kill her) .

I was expecting all that.

I was not, however, expecting that she would be able to do all this even though, according to smeyer, human beings and vampies have different numbers of chromosomes. Which would, if there were any justice in these books, make her baby the world's first Vamphumule.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Dear god. Vampire curse!

[lebateleur.livejournal.com]

And one that's, when you think about it, as lame as the books themselves. Appropriate!