Trismegistus

The one that had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe was Hogfather, specifically the scene where Death plays the role at the shopping center.

The bit about the kid in the bobble hat… and the sword…

'You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Also… "Your piggy did a wee."