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lebateleur) wrote2025-04-02 06:44 pm
lebateleur) wrote2025-04-02 06:44 pm
What Am I Reading Wednesday - April 2
To slightly misquote John Oliver, "It has been a busy three weeks."
What I Finished Reading This Week
The Bee Sting – Paul Murray
This is an outstanding book with a horrifically bad ending. I am hard pressed to think of another book with such incredibly incisive characterizations: Murray writes sympathetic, flawed, and utterly believable characters. And I mean all of them—not just the main characters, or the male characters, or the preteen characters, or the educated characters—all of them. The motivations are spot on. The actions and reactions are spot on. The dialogue is spot on. The inner monologues are spot on. The humor is sly and wickedly funny, the sad parts are tragic, and the tension in the tense scenes is through the roof.
But oh my god, the ending. Or rather, the non-ending, because after spending 650+ pages with these characters, the book ends on a goddamn cliffhanger. Yes, I get that one of the themes of the book is that there is no resolution, as far as human lives are concerned. And that point may even have landed had Murray written the story differently. Ironically, it probably would have worked better if Murray were a less-skilled author. But after investing 650+ freaking pages with these wholly believable, sympathetic, incredibly well-drawn characters, it doesn’t.
I am still incredibly glad I read this book. It is 99 percent excellent, one of the consistently best novels I have read. But oh, if only that last 1 percent had been different.
What I Finished Reading Two Weeks Ago
Gardener’s Magic and Other Old Wives’ Lore – Bridget Boland
So this is absolutely a novelty book, essentially the pre-Internet equivalent of a listicle or low-calorie trivia article. But as I have an enduring interest in the subject matter, it’s attractively illustrated and typeset on high-quality paper, and I enjoy the pre-social media version of "lighthearted and breezy voice" that Boland writes in, it worked quite well for me.
What I Finished Reading Three Weeks Ago
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents – Lindsay Gibson
Overall, this was a pretty good book. I very much appreciated that unlike other psychology/self-help authors, Gibson does not belabor her points. She’ll state a fact or observation once, in plain language, and that’s it. There’s almost no bloat here, and it’s refreshing and lovely.
Additionally, I found Gibson’s insights pretty sound, especially in the latter five of the book’s 10 chapters, which deal with how to set boundaries, rethink your relationship with emotionally immature parents, avoid falling into old patterns—both with your internal narratives and with your interactions with parents, and how to ride out extinction events (although Gibson herself does not refer to them as such).
It’s not a perfect book; the first few chapters in particular are a little too “You, wounded reader, are without blemish” to my eye; there’s affirming the reader's experience and there’s writing as though the reader can do no wrong and their parents no right, and that's a little too black-and-white to be realistic to my eye.
In general, the early chapters would have benefited from more intellectual rigor. Gibson offers a checklist of 15 traits for readers to assess whether a parent was emotionally immature; checking a mere two of them “suggests you may well have been dealing with an emotionally immature parent.” Really? That's all it takes? Are any of these traits more damaging to a child than others? Is there no meaningful difference between a parent who exhibits two of these traits, weakly, and infrequently and a parent who exhibits 14 of them, regularly, and often? The answers feel like they should be no, yes, and yes, but Gibson is mum on these points.
Similarly, if the first several traits in each list to determine which of four types of emotional immaturity a parent exhibits are the same, how diagnostic are they? In fact, it's not even clear that some of the listed traits are signs of emotional immaturity to begin with. For example, per Gibson's list, an emotionally immature parent of the conflict-avoidant category may “see him or herself as mellow and good-natured”, but I bet emotionally mature parents see themselves this way too. So what's the difference? Seeing oneself as mellow and good-natured allows an emotionally immature parent to avoid difficult or uncomfortable situations (like having to discipline or engage meaningfully with a sad, angry, or disappointed child), but allows an emotionally mature parent to weather their child's sadness, anger, or disappointment as they do the hard work of parenting. But Gibson never articulates this. This is frustrating—doubly so, given how insightful the latter half of the book is—but overall, the book's strengths outweigh its weaknesses and I'm glad I read it.
What I Am Currently Reading
Tomb of Dragons – Katherine Addison
On the one hand, I am stoked to read this. On the other hand, once I read this, the trilogy will be over.
Milkman - Anna Burns
I’m just shy of 60 percent of the way through, and it’s been consistently excellent.
The Legend of Robin Goodfellow – Phineas Cricket
I will finish this book tonight.
The Year in Ireland – Kevin Danaher
I read up to the section on Easter.
Scotland’s Forgotten Past – Alastair Moffat
I read the first of this book’s 80 chapters on said forgotten past, which deals with the geological and tectonic developments that created the Scottish landmass.
Winters in the World – Eleanor Parker
I read up to the section on Easter in this volume too.
Sex and Marriage in Ancient Ireland – Patrick Power
I’ll finish this volume today as well.
What I’ve Also Been Reading Over The Past Three Weeks
Irish Tin Whistle Tutorial vol. I – Mary Bergin
I continued revising the first seven or so chapters.
Mars House – Natasha Pulley
I read a few more chapters, but ultimately put this one on hold to concentrate on The Bee Sting and Milkman.
How Computers Work – Ron White
I finished the chapters on databases and disc drives.
What I’m Reading Next
This week I acquired Katherine Addison's Tomb of Dragons, Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes, Francine Oomen’s Hoe overleef ik Alles Wat ik Niemand Vertel, Patrick Power’s Sex and Marriage in Ancient Ireland, and Robert Vuijsje’s Alleen Maar Mette Mensen.
Last week I acquired Leigh Bardugo's Shadow and Bone, Michael Hultquit's The Spicy Food Lovers' Cookbook, John Mansfield Thomson's The Cambridge Companion to the Recorder, and Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes (no author credited).
Three weeks ago I acquired 이국종's 골든아워1 and 골든아워2 (Lee Gukjeong's Golden Hour vols. 1 & 2).
これで以上です。
- I got three more rabies shots!
- I did jury duty!
- I advanced to the intermediate level in dance classes!
- I did a St. Patrick's day murder mystery/scavenger hunt with the GeekBBQ cohort!
- I found a session to play in!
- I played weekly D&D sessions with two separate groups!
- I had a firepit s'mores party with Newest D&D Group!
- I went to the first GeekBBQ crab bake of 2025!
- I enjoyed DC's annual two hours of spring at a GeekBBQ picnic!
What I Finished Reading This Week
The Bee Sting – Paul Murray
This is an outstanding book with a horrifically bad ending. I am hard pressed to think of another book with such incredibly incisive characterizations: Murray writes sympathetic, flawed, and utterly believable characters. And I mean all of them—not just the main characters, or the male characters, or the preteen characters, or the educated characters—all of them. The motivations are spot on. The actions and reactions are spot on. The dialogue is spot on. The inner monologues are spot on. The humor is sly and wickedly funny, the sad parts are tragic, and the tension in the tense scenes is through the roof.
But oh my god, the ending. Or rather, the non-ending, because after spending 650+ pages with these characters, the book ends on a goddamn cliffhanger. Yes, I get that one of the themes of the book is that there is no resolution, as far as human lives are concerned. And that point may even have landed had Murray written the story differently. Ironically, it probably would have worked better if Murray were a less-skilled author. But after investing 650+ freaking pages with these wholly believable, sympathetic, incredibly well-drawn characters, it doesn’t.
I am still incredibly glad I read this book. It is 99 percent excellent, one of the consistently best novels I have read. But oh, if only that last 1 percent had been different.
What I Finished Reading Two Weeks Ago
Gardener’s Magic and Other Old Wives’ Lore – Bridget Boland
So this is absolutely a novelty book, essentially the pre-Internet equivalent of a listicle or low-calorie trivia article. But as I have an enduring interest in the subject matter, it’s attractively illustrated and typeset on high-quality paper, and I enjoy the pre-social media version of "lighthearted and breezy voice" that Boland writes in, it worked quite well for me.
What I Finished Reading Three Weeks Ago
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents – Lindsay Gibson
Overall, this was a pretty good book. I very much appreciated that unlike other psychology/self-help authors, Gibson does not belabor her points. She’ll state a fact or observation once, in plain language, and that’s it. There’s almost no bloat here, and it’s refreshing and lovely.
Additionally, I found Gibson’s insights pretty sound, especially in the latter five of the book’s 10 chapters, which deal with how to set boundaries, rethink your relationship with emotionally immature parents, avoid falling into old patterns—both with your internal narratives and with your interactions with parents, and how to ride out extinction events (although Gibson herself does not refer to them as such).
It’s not a perfect book; the first few chapters in particular are a little too “You, wounded reader, are without blemish” to my eye; there’s affirming the reader's experience and there’s writing as though the reader can do no wrong and their parents no right, and that's a little too black-and-white to be realistic to my eye.
In general, the early chapters would have benefited from more intellectual rigor. Gibson offers a checklist of 15 traits for readers to assess whether a parent was emotionally immature; checking a mere two of them “suggests you may well have been dealing with an emotionally immature parent.” Really? That's all it takes? Are any of these traits more damaging to a child than others? Is there no meaningful difference between a parent who exhibits two of these traits, weakly, and infrequently and a parent who exhibits 14 of them, regularly, and often? The answers feel like they should be no, yes, and yes, but Gibson is mum on these points.
Similarly, if the first several traits in each list to determine which of four types of emotional immaturity a parent exhibits are the same, how diagnostic are they? In fact, it's not even clear that some of the listed traits are signs of emotional immaturity to begin with. For example, per Gibson's list, an emotionally immature parent of the conflict-avoidant category may “see him or herself as mellow and good-natured”, but I bet emotionally mature parents see themselves this way too. So what's the difference? Seeing oneself as mellow and good-natured allows an emotionally immature parent to avoid difficult or uncomfortable situations (like having to discipline or engage meaningfully with a sad, angry, or disappointed child), but allows an emotionally mature parent to weather their child's sadness, anger, or disappointment as they do the hard work of parenting. But Gibson never articulates this. This is frustrating—doubly so, given how insightful the latter half of the book is—but overall, the book's strengths outweigh its weaknesses and I'm glad I read it.
What I Am Currently Reading
Tomb of Dragons – Katherine Addison
On the one hand, I am stoked to read this. On the other hand, once I read this, the trilogy will be over.
Milkman - Anna Burns
I’m just shy of 60 percent of the way through, and it’s been consistently excellent.
The Legend of Robin Goodfellow – Phineas Cricket
I will finish this book tonight.
The Year in Ireland – Kevin Danaher
I read up to the section on Easter.
Scotland’s Forgotten Past – Alastair Moffat
I read the first of this book’s 80 chapters on said forgotten past, which deals with the geological and tectonic developments that created the Scottish landmass.
Winters in the World – Eleanor Parker
I read up to the section on Easter in this volume too.
Sex and Marriage in Ancient Ireland – Patrick Power
I’ll finish this volume today as well.
What I’ve Also Been Reading Over The Past Three Weeks
Irish Tin Whistle Tutorial vol. I – Mary Bergin
I continued revising the first seven or so chapters.
Mars House – Natasha Pulley
I read a few more chapters, but ultimately put this one on hold to concentrate on The Bee Sting and Milkman.
How Computers Work – Ron White
I finished the chapters on databases and disc drives.
What I’m Reading Next
This week I acquired Katherine Addison's Tomb of Dragons, Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes, Francine Oomen’s Hoe overleef ik Alles Wat ik Niemand Vertel, Patrick Power’s Sex and Marriage in Ancient Ireland, and Robert Vuijsje’s Alleen Maar Mette Mensen.
Last week I acquired Leigh Bardugo's Shadow and Bone, Michael Hultquit's The Spicy Food Lovers' Cookbook, John Mansfield Thomson's The Cambridge Companion to the Recorder, and Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes (no author credited).
Three weeks ago I acquired 이국종's 골든아워1 and 골든아워2 (Lee Gukjeong's Golden Hour vols. 1 & 2).
これで以上です。
no subject
no subject
What a shame about that ending.
She’ll state a fact or observation once, in plain language, and that’s it. There’s almost no bloat here, and it’s refreshing and lovely.
Oh my gosh, why does no one write this way anymore? The endless repetition these days drives me insane!
I've never read the Gibson but your criticisms seem really fair and insightful.
no subject
On the one hand, I am stoked to read this. On the other hand, once I read this, the trilogy will be over.
OH MY GOD THE STRUGGLE IS REAL not helped by the fact that I blasted through nearly half of it yesterday because something about this one has just clicked with me in the way the first two didn't.
[some extremely vague spoilers]
Frankly it's probably all the callbacks, lol. Like, WFtD and TGoS were compelling enough but they always felt so divorced from what was set up in TGE that I just never really felt like it was even the same universe until now where it's just like "yes, you didn't dream it, it all happened, the Unth. Court and Amalo really do exist side-by-side, here's some cameos." But yeah, I've really been having fun and am planning on a blanket reread when I'm done just so that I can hopefully appreciate the whole thing more as a greater... uh, whole.